Topic: Why do people go to college?
All people attend the university school or the college school because of (many) different reason (reasons). I believe
about (I believe that) three common reasons are consisted of making career ready, to have the new experience, and to improve their knowledge of themselves and around the word of them. (and the world around them)
Career preparation is becoming increasingly important for young people. It is the main reason for studying university with many people. They know the
market of job ( the job market) in VN is competitive. In university, they can study new skill for the career with many occasions. (anytime: bất cứ lúc nào) This means that career such as information technology which provides need the big workforce in the coming year.
In addition, students go to the college school and the university school is to have the new experience. This usually means (that)
they have the meet’s occasion other people with people in their hometown (they have man opportunities to meet many people) For the most student, they study in university which is the first time they leave home (that was the first time that they live far from home) In addition, this is the first time (phải thêm that vào nha) they have decided (make decision) for themselves. These decisions increase their knowledge of themselves.
finding self-taught knowledge (bỏ chỗ này đi, không cần thiết lắm) people also attend the university school or the college university to expand their knowledge of topics that they feel interesting. For many, this will be their last chance for a long time to learn about the things which does not relate to their careers.
I would advise people (that they shouldn’t)
don’t focus on their careers. They should study in university to have new experiences and to learn about themselves and the world which they are living in.
Nhận xét chung: bài viết khá ổn hơn lần trước.
Tuy nhiên cần chú ý nhé, nếu muốn viết như kiểu là tôi nghĩ rằng cái này cái kia nó thế nào thì phải dùng từ nối là that để liên kết hai câu nhé, nó phải là I think that….. chứ ko phải là I think + một câu mới nhé.
Phần này là câu ghép, ghép 2 câu đơn vào thì phải có từ nối em nhé
Chúc em đạt kết quả tốt với trung tâm luyện thi IELTS Egroup